Monday, October 4, 2010

Thank you, once again, for two interesting shows, and two experiences that will contribute to my life in the times that lies ahead. And also to my thoughts around feminism.

My female friend whom was with me in Bergen really wished she could have been here last night as well, but I'll tell her all about it when I come home.

It was nice to listen-in on the talk today after the formal setting with the professor. And as you yourself commented, I agree that you handled his a bit pretentious art-theory talk very well. My own background is from philosophy, so my interest in art is from that angle and not from art-theory as a field of its own.

But anyways, I wanted to make an comment about what you said about openness and sexuality. A somewhat strange thing that I myself feel in Norway, is that our society as an whole (the Norwegian society that is) actually are quite open about sexual-topics. At least with each other and also somewhat in the the media, but only to a certain extent. The problem is that we have broken down most of the tabus, but still, we can't actually say something substantial about it.

That is, we can talk about having sex, our fantasies, that we masturbate and so fort (yes my female friends also do this, to me at least). But the hard things, and the more detailed questions, about for example how to have good sex, and that we actually can learn and educate ourself as lovers, and that people have and can overcome sexual-performance-related-
anguish, is still something that should be silenced. (this is a tabu that I have experienced both in conversations with my own bed partners, and male/female friends)

There has actually been a recent norwegian study, about lack of the sexual-lust in Norwegian females, and the study concludes that, many girls has an issue with a demand for sexual competence. But where should this competence come from, if we don't have an atmosphere when one can develop it?

I don't think males actually are better of in this regard. Female friends/lovers of mine, often complain about how other guys disappoint them in bed, and how difficult it is to talk about it with them. And some of my male friends confirm this impression, if I try to push the issue. I have heard stories about men that cry from jealousy and/or from humiliation when girls want to use vibrators, dildos, talk about their previous experience, etc..

I don't feel a need for saying anything especially good about my own-redeeming features in bed, but an frankness, openness and imitate-trust has always been important in my sexual relationship. I want to learn, and I want my girls to learn all they can if that is from sex-toys, masturbation, other partners, books, etc.. It doesn't mater, it all contribute to our atmosphere, and sum of knowledge in the bed-room, as long as we are open and trusting about it. Of course I can talk things to peaces, something that can be a turn-off for some... That is another issue.

But still my own need for openness, technicalities, find this tabu that I try to describe above quite problematic.

Sorry for writing so long, I hope it made sense.

And yes, I wanted to remind you about the cinderella-monologues that we talked about.

Good luck with the show tonight!


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